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| I think he liked it! |
It really was a wonderful, perfect day, and every day, I find myself feeling incredibly lucky to be married to my best friend. These last three months have already taught me a lot about marriage and what it means to really start building a life with someone. In honor of it being our three-month anniversary, here are three things we have learned so far:
1. Make "couple time" a priority: No, I don't mean that kind of couple time (although...*blushes*). After we got married, we made plans with a lot of people, and suddenly, we hardly saw each other. Honestly, every weekend in September was totally booked, and while we had a great time with family and friends, we didn't find ourselves with a lot of time to just be newlyweds together. So, for October, we carved out two non-negotiable "us" weekends (barring serious injury, illness, or zombie attack) in which we go on dates, arrange stuff at home, or just veg out and play board games. It has made a huge difference in our relationship, because instead of feeling rushed to spend time together whenever we found a spare minute, we can relax and enjoy our weekends together.
2. Communication is awesome: I know that anyone reading this that has been married for longer than a nano-second is rolling their eyes at this one and thinking, "Duuuuhhh," but honestly, this has been incredibly important in the course of our relationship and even more so in our fledgling marriage. As I mentioned in an earlier post, our lives have become rather hectic, what with the two of us basically hitting the ground running when we got back from our honeymoon. Life really hasn't slowed down much, and in all of our rushing around, it can be tough to communicate as clearly as one would like. So, we've really had to work on making sure we are a) not keeping everything that bugs us (my darling husband likes to leave all of his little shaved goatee hairs all over the sink, for example) in until we explode about something mundane like the dishwasher not being loaded properly and b) that we actually listen to each other when things come up. As in, we put our phones away, put the laptop down, and turn off the TV as soon as someone says, "You know, I was thinking..." Even taking five minutes to really truly listen and communicate does wonders, even if it takes place as you both scarf down breakfast as you try to put on your shoes.
3. Even though you're a newlywed, you're still a person: There's this weird pressure when you first get married to go everywhere together, to do everything together, and to basically buy his and her everything and start working on a long list of shared hobbies. But here's the thing: as wonderful as being married has been, and as awesome as it is to spend time with my husband, there are just times when I need to go out and just be Mariela for a little while. Sometimes, I just need to blast Shakira until the house shakes, or sing Beatles songs incredibly off-key, or watch terribly trashy television while browsing Pinterest. There are moments when I'm totally self-indulging that I feel guilty about not wanting to spend every minute working on my brand-new marriage, but then I realize that doing all of those things that make me the person that I am actually help our relationship. Evan doesn't want a clone of himself that does all the things he does all the time; he wants me, and all the things that make me, me. That'd be so boring. So yes, there are days when I take an afternoon to myself, browse through all of the makeup and clothes I can't afford, or blast Adele in my car (I call those mini-concerts), or shake my groove thang at a Zumba class. And the greatest part of all of that is that at the end of the day, I come home, happy, restored, and ecstatic to see my husband.
And there you have it. Three marriage lessons in three months. And now, my husband and I are going to celebrate three months of marriage by braving this disgusting Oregon weather and going to get ourselves some pumpkins!
